December 12th, 2007 – Soup and Bread, Service, Choir

There is a Gandhi quote “To see the difference we must become the difference”. Fear needs to be overcome to recognize and embrace what is good.

Pastor Dayle, in her message this evening, emphasized the time it takes for some things to happen despite a cultural desire for instant gratification. I continue to find it hard to break away from the guilt, judgments and expectations in my life that fuel the desire for instant gratification.

Tonight during Holden Evening prayer I felt what I anticipated feeling last week, gladness and community. Now I wonder why the joyous, encompassing feeling this week? Why was community being created from our shared voices for me tonight and not last Wednesday? In hindsight both of these Wednesday worships were powerful and, of course, my first thought is that I want, and that I'm nourished by, this week's experience over last week's. Now I wonder if this should be true.

I received a number of responses last Wednesday's blog that showed me the strength of Creator. People do bear the burdens of one another. There was concern and empathy in that response. There was a recognition of where I was and a willingness to help.

So what to do with all this? The word I picked this week to reflect on happened to be gladness. My reflections are not the same as they would have been without last Wednesday's experience.

Gladness is partly linked to the instant gratification Pastor Dayle preached about and the hurry of the season. We hurry because we feel we can make others happy in all that we are trying to do. We hurry because of memories around what made us happy and try to carry those traditions on. I think "Don't I want this to be the best Christmas season for my family and friend's? " Don't I know what will make this better than last year or, instead, is this a trap that keeps me doing rather than being?

Through Christian fellowship this congregation continues to surprise me and shapes my life in ways I would not have anticipated.