July 30th, 2006 - Thoughts on a Sunday Service

So much is happening this Sunday that I will not be able to describe because I cannot participate. I am on call at work today. The Oregon Zoo has a travelling show of animals after the service and Spoke Folk, young people who are touring the country on their bikes, are having a parade and a potluck dinner this evening.

Also, Creator has Bethany Hartung in our prayers. She had a recurrence of leukemia after being in remission for almost 2 years. Bethany began chemo on July 27th and Toni asked we pray that her body can handle the medicine, that her kidneys don't shut down and she will tolerate it well.

Toni, Rick, and the entire Hartung family have revealed the depth of their character to members of Creator over the years. There is always warmth and a smile for everyone. Toni pulls many things together, as far as activities for the church, and organizes as part of her work, but she always finds time to create a moment to center and deepen friendships. Toni, Rick, and their family have a graciousness and hospitality together with a deep respect and love for the neighborhood. There is a joy for living that they pass along to all those they greet when we meet.

Many at Creator are praying intensely that all goes well with Bethany. I will miss an update on her progress today.

There are a number of reasons I would have liked to have attended today but, in any case, not attending Sunday service is a letdown. There’s a feeling of being out of kilter. Pinpointing why is difficult, yet today something compels me to try.

Perhaps a place to start would be with a story Elie Wiesel tells of a great Hasidic rabbi, when the great man was but a young boy studying in the local yeshiva. The teacher noticed that the lad was occasionally absent from the classroom where he was studying Torah. Finally, one day, the teacher followed the boy into the surrounding woods where he discovered the rabbi-to-be praying. What are you doing?" he asked. The boy replied, "Praying." "But why do you come all the way out here to pray," the teacher pressed. "Don't you know that everywhere God is the same?" "Oh, yes," the lad replied, "God is everywhere the same. . . but I am not."

There is something about being deliberate in going to worship and building a habit of worship that changes something within me. For many years I saw no particular value in making worship a habit. My reliance fell more on individual spiritual moments that came from reading or discovering spiritual truths while following creative pursuits. Worship has not turned me away from this course, but has led me to a deeper knowledge of ways to move to new understandings.

We talked about living sacrifices in our bible study at Paul and Debi’s. Something my wife said before that study, as we discussed the verse, made me understand worship is part of the living sacrifice we can make in our daily life. Yet this living sacrifice leads to a God given joy. It is like choosing to become part of another dance between your soul and God.

What are the components of this particular dance? I want to answer this question and simultaneously answer a question Pastor Fred asked a couple months back about the church and why Creator specifically works in our lives.

Being a member of a church is about belonging to a community of faith who struggle (or dance) with faith in daily life. Also, for me, it is an important act of obedience with the commandment to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. I know some would say I am hypocritical in not keeping the Sabbath day holy by being on call. I do struggle with that as well as to defining work and defining how I keep a day holy. It is an ongoing progression in my life to understand sacred time and how to invoke and/or keep it.

Hearing and reading more of the bible easily comes because of worship. There is a different perspective of understanding God in my life and there are insights into how believers struggled in the past with their faith. I think back to Dante’s vision of Paradise; how we are all pages in God’s book and every page is holy and needed as a path to God. Together with this each service reaffirms artistic and creative expressions of faith in the music, the environment in the sanctuary and the furnishings of our worship space, all intended to engage us in an ongoing relationship with God. We are provided the opportunity to use our gifts.

There is a life rooted in the structure of worship and the church year which can only be reinforced by worship. Acknowledging and confessing my sins is something I need help with and the structure of the service helps. The service provides a structure to help me meditate on being a part of doing God’s will on earth and is a weekly reminder of God's love for us and through us.

The church year connects worshippers to cultural traditions and provides a structure for deeper meditation on life. The church year connects me to who I was when I experienced a church season in the past. It provides an opportunity to remember those who are no longer in the immediate Creator circle of worshipping and let's us re-engage with those who are.

In the past worship felt too confining to me. It had become another responsibility, a point that people would use to judge if you were a "good" person.

Worship and going to church isn't that today for me. It is an opportunity to dive into a spiritual life, like what a diving board provides for us to dive into the water. The side of the pool is available but the purpose of the diving board is to make the jump easier and supports the attempt being made.

July 23rd, 2006 - Sunday Service

Kelly performed the music with Matt, David and me at the service. The sanctuary was warm due to the hot, humid weather. Pastor Dayle back from San Antonio and Spokane the Sunday before.

The blueprints for Phase 2 and Phase 3 building went up on the bulletin board in the narthex and there was an excited buzz after the service. There were no dollar figures and currently we are hearing overall giving is down during the summer so there is the normal hesitancy that is associated with where plans might go from here.

Preparations were underway for Creator Day Camp which has a strong reputation in the area. Sharilyn made an announcement about the material they still needed and request for a host family for a night of entertaining.

Pastor Dayle's sermon was about taking rest with Jesus. Pastor Dayle juxtaposed the 23rd psalm and a Nora Jones song called Come Away With Me. There was a nice interplay between the words of each. The song is a love song, the psalm is a prayer. Thinking of a love song as a prayer usually brings a fertile perspective and additional understanding to the song. It reminds me of the poetry of Rumi and his blending of love, God and the power of intoxication.

She also talked about the theme for the San Antonio Yought Gathering. There was a word “Cruzando” which means crossing. They talked about crossing boundaries. Boundaries that lead to new life. They talked about crossing boundaries of lands of physical poverty and pain. Hopeless places.

I finished reading Jeannette Winterson's Weight. It is an updated telling of the myth of Atlas and Hercules. The title obviously was about the weight of the worl on Atlas but it turned out the author was also referring to the weight of the future, and of our own fate determined by who we are and the choices we feel we must make. We have root cultural stories and when they shift our lives our shifted. Winterson imagines Atlas does not hold the weight of the world forever. One day he decides tot take the world from off his shoulder. When he does the world does not careen out of orbit, nor is there a catastrophe. Nothing happens. Atlas simply walks off with a dog that has grown dear to him.

So I had a different boundary to cross in my mind as Pastor Dayle spoke. Still it had much to do with rest and recovery for a journey ahead.

I appreciated the fellowship after the service today. I always enjoy the instrumental after the service. It means that sometimes it is hard to get involved in the conversations that are already established after the service. After this service I was expecting the heat would clear people out of the building quickly but many stayed and I found a number of people to converse with and get caught up on what was going on in their lives.

Not an unusal service; simply word, sacrament and music we offered back to God to celebrate God's presence in our lives.

July 17th, 2006- 2nd Bible Study Whol – i - ness with Myself, Others and God.

Host: Paul & Debi Stromberg

Topic - Living Sacrifices: Bible Verse: Romans 12: 1 - 8

It was a perfect summerevening temperature in Paul & Debi's backyard garden in Happy Valley. We gathered around the smoked steelhead, fruit, salad, bread and cheese and talked in no special order about the ELCA San Antonio youth trip, vacations, family news and gossip. We split into two groups after we finished eating. The group I was in set up by the pool, hummingbirds, and rabbits. Then we talked about what living sacrifice meant.

The discussion started in a light vein, with questions about how peer pressure affects/affected how we dressed and behaved. It quickly moved into how we, as Christians, conform or not to society. It was an introduction to the discussion ahead.

When we reached questions about God’s will for our lives, and how we come to understand it, Susan laid out her uneasiness with balance between her work and home life. Like many of us, at least I talk for myself; Susan did not view her work as her most important contribution to the world or what God wanted from her life. Sarah came up with a quote, listening to the discussion, around what Susan was concerned about, “Follow the deepest desire in your heart to discover the world’s greatest need for you”. It is a great line, it is inspiring and still there was another side to the question laid bare by the pool. Other things were kept hidden in our hearts.

What we talked about, and what we left unsaid, was close to the heart of a matter. Debi laid out the idea of how hard it is to see our own gifts, like those mentioned in verse 6-8 in the reading. We are too close to see our strengths. and they come so naturally. we tend to take them for granted. Debi and Susan are part of a bible study group where, at one meeting, participants helped one another see their gifts clearly.

What Susan said seemed to be true of the group. She expressed a common perception many of us have about our work. We look at our days and are likely to minimize the feeling of God working through us.

I thought Paul would express confidence that his work was making a difference, since he helps people to see; yet he aspires to something more. He talked about working in another country and really making a difference that no one else may make in the lives of the people he could help.

It is hard to see your life from God’s perspective.

Paul and Faith each talked about their experiences in other countries with lifestyles not like the ones we have in our community. We talked about God’s will for those with abundance in their lives and their relationship to the marginalized. Sarah had an intense look on her face. She talked about moving from knowing what is right into action. “Christians can be good at just flapping their gums”, she said.

What was left unsaid (or barely said) was the fear, uncertainty and responsibility that gives us pause at life’s great decisions. Following passion is uncertain. Trying to deal with the marginalized quickly becomes overwhelming unless it is compartmentalized and dealt with in an effort that we feel we can control and direct. Life teaches us about scarcity as well as abundance and we learn to be ant as well as grasshopper regarding what is given to us and how we share it.

We closed by singing “Open The Eyes Of My Heart” and “Shout To The Lord”. Another time of sharing filled our hearts.

Romans 12: 1 - 8

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7 If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8 if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

July 16th, 2006 - Sunday Service

In the announcements today Debi talked about the youth gathering and what she heard and experienced over the web last week. She talked movingly about what the future call the youth were given by the speakers in San Antonio. She also gave a snippet of the stories and the background of the presenters that they heard as well.

Matt gave the Children's talk. Specifically he sang Bill Staines "All God's Critters Got A Place In The Choir", teaching the children the chorus while he sang the verses. This was in part to let them know the Oregon Zoo will be coming by with animals in a couple of weeks. Hearing a Bill Staines song at Creator felt right and tied my Creator experience with the folk music crowd in Seattle where Staines was viewed as a songwriter's songwriter

Pastor Fred talked about John the Baptist in his sermon and focused on the pressure that Herod found difficult to fight when he gave his word that his niece could have whatever she wanted after her dance. Pastor Fred commented that this was a tough piece to write a sermon on and it felt hard as Pastor Fred talked about personally caving in and standing up to peer and social pressure (the latter by leading a Civil Rights march in Baywood, Illinois when he was in college).

There was a special power in David Lee's Sanctus that caught our attention and then our breath. Joy And Thanksgiving was the sending song and energy built on energy. There are times when it is hard to tell if your energy and love for the music is felt in the congregation like it is with the musicians but people gathered around us at the end and someone told me how they loved to watch when the love of the music was so clearly there.

I could not agree more.

July 10th, 2006 - 1st Bible Study Whol – i - ness with Myself, Others and God.

Host: Kelly and Nancy Carlisle

Topic: Spiritual: Be Holy because I am Holy: Reading: 1 Peter Chapter 1 – 2:3

For each Monday from now until August 14th we are meeting for fellowship and to study the word in a multi-week Bible Study titled Whol – i - ness with Myself, Others and God.

About twenty people attended. There was a BBQ pot luck first and then Kelly set up an opening party mixer game. After that we broke into two groups and discussed the bible passage with three groups of questions which were categorized by a coffee cup, a book and a heart. The questions were designed to progressively move participants to reveal "deeper" thoughts and feelings together with our faith and fears.

The passage was read first. Most, if not all, felt the language and the call in the passage we read was challenging to say the least. As we answered the questions the struggles we encounter on our Christian journey were more apparent. One of the questions was about the v. 17 “live you lives as strangers here in reverent fear” brought out an exchange about how comfortable the group was with the word fear. Fear brought in the idea of God’s judgment and law. Many remained uncomfortable thinking about "fearing God". Interestingly the other group focused their discussion around the word reverent.

There was another question about whether you defined yourself as a pilgrim, explorer or land owner in life. Our group had trouble defining the difference between pilgrim and explorer. The other group defined a pilgrim as someone with a destination in mind where an explorer is journeying without that destination.

We discussed holiness, which both groups defined as being "set apart", but as our group talked about holiness the conversation moved to referring to it as this was some state of godliness in life.

The shared thoughts exhilarated me as Paul discussed living with God's law and grace; as Kelly delved into needing to be mindful of our effect in the world; as Shelley talking about sheltering a homeless family member and as Emily presenting the challenges of today's college age Christian among many other highlights. No one spoke dogmatically or tried to present life's choices as easy if one's faith was strong enough.

Still discussions were difficult on these matters because of a phenomenon I think is best caught in a song lyric (forgive the now predictable nature of my mind which consistently associates with life with music):

It's a funny thing about humility, as soon as you know you're being humble, you're no longer humble.

It's a funny thing about life, you've got to give up your life to be alive.

You've got to suffer to know compassion; you can't want nothing if you want satisfaction.

It's a funny thing about love, the harder you try to be loved the less lovable you are.

It's a funny thing about pride, when you're being proud you should be ashamed.

You find only pain if you seek after pleasure, you work like a slave if you seek out the leisure."

T Bone Burnette, the man who wrote the lyric, once responded to a question about why as a person bearing the label of "Christian" he doesn't write songs that sound or look like "Christian music." His quoted response has become a mantra for some, that Christians can either write about the Light itself, or they can write about what they see in the world because of the existence of that Light.

Talking about Christianity frequently calls T Bone Burnette's lyric to my mind but everyone Monday seemed to navigate the waters as best we could.

We ended with three songs; Here Is My Heart, I Lift Up My Soul and Lamb of God. During Lamb of God just we sang "Oh wash me in His precious Blood", as if on cue with the word "washed", the sprinklers came on where we were standing.

A great beginning to the coming Monday meetings.

July 9th, 2006 - Sunday Service

Donn presided over the service today and Susan gave an extended children's sermon. Donn was filling in for Pastor Dayle, who was in Spokane for a memorial service held there for her brother Doug. Donn opened the service with grace and humor saying that normally when Pastor Fred presides he talks about being the second string. Donn commented if this was the case he might be considered the waterboy. It is interesting how Lutherans with faith in the priesthood of all believers accomodate themselves to others who feel it takes more than a believer to preside over sacraments like the eucharist.

His opening comments set a beautiful tone for the service. He talked about individuals gathering together with different experiences of God to celebrate God together.

Susan gave an extended children’s sermon about prophets. She told a story and showed an example of how a prophet can work with God’s grace. The story was of a woman who took water from a well in two jars, one sound and one cracked. It would seem the cracked jar would not be serving a purpose but it was used to water flowers and plants along the roadway. The supposed defect served a greater purpose according to the story than could initially be seen.

The example Susan provided involved birdseed and three different kinds of containers. The birdseed, she explained, represented God’s grace. It was poured into a wine glass, a container with a spout and a funnel. She had other glasses representing God's people and, of course, it was easiest to fill those cups with the funnel which allowed the seed, God's grace, to pour into God's people.

Matt was not at the service but Janice, Craig and Kim volunteered to sing and that made the music powerful and special.

July 2nd, 2006 Sunday Service - Helping the Marginalized

Pastor Dayle laid out the issue in her sermon today. I quote her at length because she captures everything candidly and succinctly:

If you were here last Sunday you may have noticed a woman who visited worship at Creator for the first time. She was dressed warmly, with winter hat and coat on a morning that crept to the mid 80’s by worship’s end. Sadly she had lost her way in the world and was without a place to lay her head, or clean herself up. She had been to other churches who tried to help her by paying for one more night in a cheap motel. A few of us tried to bring her aid following worship, but to no avail. This was distressing to me and to the rest of the small group who tried so hard to find some solution for this woman. She was unstable and unable to cope with life in the ways most of us are able. There was likely some mental illness, too. So how were we, the church, the ones called to care for all who are marginalized, going to help this woman whose only acceptable solution to her predicament was to live with a Christian couple? Would any of you have taken a stranger home with you last Sunday? I don’t think any of us would given the circumstances.

We live in strange times. I don’t know about you, but I’ve become jaded when it comes to helping people. I’ve been scammed too many times. I’ve used my own money to buy motel rooms too many times. There are people who ride the buses to churches asking for handouts at every church. Churches, including Creator make contributions to other institutions like the Clackamas Women’s Center, because we want to help and we know that we don’t have the ability to do a good intake on a homeless person or to know what it is they need. So most churches will give the one in need, who stops by money or buy them a room at a cheap motel to get the problem out the door.

St. Paul talked to the Corinthians about fairness and balance, abundance and need. There is abundance in this place. I could have taken the homeless woman back to the motel and bought another night for her. But I didn’t. And since we didn’t have what she wanted this story does not have a happy ending. She wanted no part of the authorities and in the end, asked to be taken to New Hope church where she hoped they were more Christian than we, than I. So I took her to New Hope and then I called New Hope… who already had their security people with her. They too have no resources for homeless… they too give resources to agencies who are better able than churches to connect the homeless, mentally ill with what they need (which is usually not what they want or ask for).

I tell you this with candor so that you will hear the good news with new ears. This homeless woman sat in our sanctuary, was welcomed by many of us, heard me preach a sermon and talk about the seas of life that toss us about and how we need one another to steady ourselves and chart a new course. I couldn’t help the woman chart a new course… I plainly and simply am not equipped to make it happen. Creator can’t do it alone, either. What I took away from last Sunday was that we can’t do this alone. It’s not about Creator or New Hope or any church or agency doing everything for everyone. We network and are connected to the bigger picture.

My reaction was just as Pastor Dayle described. What that small group did was what I would do. It was sensible, reasonable and distressing.

I thought what would Jesus do and essentially moved nowhere in my thoughts and prayers.

What are the alternatives to being jaded because of the scamming everyone seems to encounter at some time when trying to help? We may agree the person in need is not in the best position to request the help they may most need. Is bringing in an agent with experience the best way to help? What if the person in need refuses that help?

No passage came to my mind that detailed physically how Jesus would have us act to help the disenfranchised. He did not help the disenfranchised by giving them money, or a home to stay in. He did not help by singling them out to give food or assistance to. The passages I read seem to point to a spiritual state to be in.

The questions about how to help I have struggled with most of my life and this sermon presses all the hot buttons. What would a good Samaritan look like today? Would today's Samaritan be a person who contributes through a networked world that would help those in need, rather than doing it directly? If I don’t feel I am in the spiritual state when I give help is there still value to doing it?

There is a certain reality that appears to complicate and frustrate our Christian desire to help or gives us reasons not to provide direct help. Distrust insulates and isolates us with reasons not to help. It binds up our help to fit within the work ethic that drives us. There was a beautiful moment in a Terrence Mallick's film The New World where the main character, Captain Smith, rhapsodizes about the opportunites in the American new world they are discovering; for men to share in the fruits of their own labor and not be bound to landowners. A short time later, as leader of a colony, he chides people he deems as not working. "Those who do not work will not eat". The division of the fruits of labor on earth is nothing like the parable of the workers in the vineyards.

There is this other side of the question that also remains unanswered because it scares us as well. Is there a point when there is over-compensation for life's work or efforts that works against our spiritual lives? Can you be paid too much of a salary that changes your viewpoint in order to justify an inequity?

Mary helped me with another way of looking at this issue as well. I focused on what Jesus would do or have us do. Mary thought another focus could be on the parable or story Jesus would tell.

Perhaps we should not ask what's right or wrong or what would Jesus say or do, as time changes how we see all of that. Perhaps we should ask 'what does love require?’ I am still searching my heart for that answer and I yearn for the Holy Spirit to give me the words to pray correctly about all this.

June 25th 2006 - Sunday Service

Pastor Dayle's sermon focused on Jesus and the way we sometimes feel or don't feel God's presence in troubled times. She is also emphasizing community as a fundamental part of the church experience. She wrote in the newsletter and preached about the need to attend worship regularly for the sake of the community. Pastor Dayle said:

I hope you will see Creator’s role in your life’s journey. Know that everyone here in worship is with with you and for you. As baptized people of God, we’re in life together. We are called to journey together and be Christ for one another. It’s a good and courageous calling… and we’re up to it… strengthened by God’s love, in a community of God’s grace. Be Christ for one another. Share life’s burdens and joys with one another.

She tagged the sermon with an invitiation to give her suggestions how to help achieve this community and to gather for worship more often. I hope she gets good feedback.