June 9th, 2006 – A Service of Remembrance and Celebration for the Life of Doug Askey

This service centered on an individual’s interaction with the community around him. Pastor Dayle’s brother Doug grew up in Spokane but lived most recently in Portland, with his family. I was talking with one of his childhood friends who commented on the attendance, “This funeral filled a church here and could have filled a church in Spokane.”

Dan Askey gave the eulogy and the stories he told gave those in attendance a feeling for the spirit Doug brought to the family’s life. There was a deeply touching moment when he talked about how the Air Force will fly in “lost man formation” when one of their own is no longer with them, and this is the way the Askey family would be flying now.

The presiding pastor, John Reutter-Harrah of Prince of Life Lutheran Church, after some recollections of the life Doug led; told a touching story about Maya Angelou and her Uncle Willie.

He was black, poor, and crippled. Uncle Willie taught her multiplication tables by grabbing young Maya by the back of her shirt and thrust her close to the white-hot potbelly stove. Little Maya feared for her life. Only later did Angelou learn that Willie would not let a fly or a spider die in the fire, shooing them out of the stove and placing them outside.

When Willie died his niece flew to Little Rock to attend his funeral, which was going to be held in Stamps, south of Little Rock. While in the capital, Angelou met the mayor of the city, its first black mayor. He expressed his sympathy and, to Angelou's surprise, told her that the state had "Lost one of its greatest men. No, the country had lost one of its greatest men. No, the world." And this type of appreciation happened with a number of men she met from the community of Stamps which simply astonished her.

Pastor John told this story to emphasize the ripple effect of an individual’s life on the community. He went on to impress on us how Doug embodied the phrase “Carpe Diem”, taking risks in seizing the day. This certainly hit home for many of us given Doug was a couple of months younger than I am. I believe many in the service made a personal connection as well with his age.

Kelly sang his composition, “Until the Dawning”. It seemed to highlight another dimension of the service; namely following Jesus through death and resurrection. The song evoked deep emotions and there was also a time for grief as the lyrics reflected the tears being shed at the moment.

The remembrances in and out of the service described who Doug was. His brothers and sister talked about adventures and the entertainment and laughs that Doug inspired throughout their lives. We were treated to a video of Doug being interviewed as an alter-ego and the entire Fellowship Hall was laughing at his inspired performance.

It was laughter mixed with tears. At the end of the service during the prayers someone sitting next to me, in obvious mourning, leaned into a chair and pressed the buttons on his cell phone which both called out and amplified the conversation on the other end of the line. There was a bewildered “Hello? Hello?,” echoing in the sanctuary throughout the prayers. Finally the man leaned over to me and whispered quizzically, “Are you making a call right now on your cell?”

It sounded to me like Doug would have appreciated the humor in that moment.