November 1st, 2006

I must admit I felt disappoint during the Hunger Awareness group meeting and during choir; mostly because of the attendance for each. It is odd what can throw us at certain times and this came like a wave.

For the Hunger Awareness group meeting I planned that we would settle who would give the December Adult Education presentations. With so few people, we couldn't assign responsibility. This made me worried and apprehensive because I knew the next meeting would be too late to make a decision.

The next day I emailed Diane to follow up on whether she would be giving the Children's talk on Sunday. It was another question that was not resolved at the meeting. She sent an email confirming she would and saying she was sorry she did not attend the meeting.

Diane's sweet email drained all the disappointment, worry and apprehension from me and taught me once again about a kind of faith that is so easy to lose when you get too focused on one outcome. You can be blinded to the work God is doing rather than what you think should be happening. I felt humbled by the experience.

Being humbled extended when Roger and David came through on Sunday. We talked about the planning that would need to go into the Adult Ed hours and that there would be some additional meetings to work up the presentations needed. We talked about changing the meeting nights back to Monday since there are people in the group who can't attend at 6:30 on Wednesdays.

The choir illustrates anxiety that comes from habit and thinking that what happened in the past must be sustained. Normally choir is deep in the rehearsal of the Christmas program by now. There haven't been as many members in attendance this year. On Wednesday all this troubled me more than I care to admit.

Today I realized, like so many things, I need to leave that kind of worry in God's hands.